If there was a word to 1-up lucky, I think I would use it here to describe 2012. Here is some background necessary to understand this post. Although my years in college have been fruitful as far the relationships I’ve created, everything else really sucked. I mean really, really sucked. I had multiple car accidents that could have easily ended my life. I acquired more debt than I was prepared to deal with. I let my job become my priority and in doing so performed poorly in my first 2 years of school, I closed door after door because I wasn’t aware of my weaknesses and reflected them as flaws in others, I was backstabbed by some who I thought were my “ride-or-die” friends, I made a lot of mistakes that have left scars in my heart forever, I gained a lot of weight, then lost it, then gained it again. I had virtually no family support. I mean I could continue on and on but the point is that I felt as if there was a black cloud hovering over me; contaminating my daily life and as a result my soul. I lost hope and that twinkle in my eye that appeared as I moved out of Little Havana and set out for better things, was slowly disappearing. This may come to a surprise to those who know me, but I was depressed in ways that I wish unto no one. I never shared with anyone and as I discovered later my body absorbed all the pain in various ways.
I hid all this behind academic accomplishments, good deeds and way too much time spent in the company of my friends to hide the void but…2012 was different. This year I was untouchable. This year I filled my soul with positivity. This year I helped people become better, won Ultra Music Festival Tickets, won 1st place in a Business Case Competition for the 2nd year in a row, got three raises and a salaried position, spent every weekend of the summer jetting away sometimes with absolutely no money but always returning richer, met Tommy Lee and Black Batman, couchsurfed with a handful of strangers, made new friends while achieving peace with others, and lost that weight (AGAIN) for good. So what did I do different?
- I finally shared everything that was intoxicating my soul and I am forever grateful to that person… He is also partially responsible for what I enumerate below. It was so important to this process of ridding myself of that black cloud to just let it all out not just to a trusted friends but to the people who are directly involved in your black cloud.
- I took my own advice. I was better than Dr. Phil I tell you. Everyone praised my advice and I ate it all up as I watched that twinkle in their eye develop while I was still miserable. Truth is we often know what is best for us or what we need to do to get what we want and we simply don’t do it because misery becomes routine. Meanwhile we share our amazing tips and others reap the benefits.
- I cured my mind. Perhaps the most challenging, especially if you do it without help. I let go of the rain from the black cloud. Routines, relationships, ideas were evaluated and scrapped if I could not list at least 5 ways in which they were good for me. Up until this point I was going to the gym 5 days a week and eating very healthy and yet I saw no results. Once I accomplished this I lost weight instantly with just a good diet and cardio here and there. Talk about my body taking all the punches…
- Finally, I wanted things with intention: This I learned from walking meditation classes at a Buddhist temple in homestead. I didn’t settle for just wanting things, I listed them, posted them on flash cards around my house and my agenda, and then did everything in my power to get them. Often we feel as we are owed the things that we want. NO ONE OWES US ANYTHING. GO GET IT!