V-Day Haters, Singlehood and V-Day Tips from Yours Truly

Today is the eve of the day when millions upon millions of dollars are spent on dinners, and flowers, and gifts for that special someone; a day where those in relationships gloat about their love while singles hypocritically denounce the day as capitalism fooling us all into buying shit.

So in honor of V-Day and being single this year, allow me to go on a mild rant. Bear with me folks! I actually think V-Day is a wonderful day and should be celebrated

meat-loaf-love-flirt-marriage-valentines-day-ecards-someecardsV-Day Haters: Your justification that if you love someone you should show them every day of the year is beyond FLAWED. Imagine if your significant other gave you flowers every day for a year. Hell, imagine just every day for a month. Where would you put all those flowers??? I mean it’s like saying that we shouldn’t celebrate black history month because we should be nice to black people every day.  If V-Day for you is just about receiving gifts, you have missed the point. V-Day is about celebrating love just as much as your birthday is about celebrating your birth. Life is short; so what is wrong with making one day so memorable  for a loved one that it is cemented in their minds forever?46b3af86-948a-414f-531a-5501c7187dde

Emo Bangs Need Not Come Out: I’m single, you’re single, and many are single. There’s no point in feeling sad about it. There is no better day to have a singles night and make out with a stranger. If making out with strangers is not your thing then why not make it a special day for that best friend that has held your hair while you drunkenly throw up time and time again. Been eyeing someone lately? Go for it! Studies have shown that people are more likely to agree to a date on V-Day. Too many people act like being single on Valentines Day is defining moment in their life. Getting married is a defining moment in your life. Being accepted into college is a defining moment in your life. Finding out you have HIV is a defining moment in your life. By those standards being single on V-Day just means you don’t have to worry about mounds of chocolate permanently taking residence in your thighs.

A Tip for Girls: The best gift you can give your man is a phenomenal BJ while wearing edible lingerie immediately after serving up their favorite meal.

A Tip for Guys: Flowers, chocolates and balloons are cool and cute but be creative. The amount of teddy bears I have from past V-Days is ridiculous and honestly I’m 24 years old, what the hell am I supposed to do with a teddy bear??? Instead have her come home to sushi on your naked body. Ok maybe not. That’s kind of gross; point is, besides flowers get her concert tickets, fix the leak in her toilet, write her 365 notes and place them in hidden places throughout her apartment. Do something that she will remember and compare every single future Valentines Day to.

From single me to everyone out there, Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day and don’t forget that not being romantically involved does not mean you have nothing to celebrate!

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