My Quarter-Century Life Crisis

JUST KIDDING! I’m not having a crisis because I’m way more awesome now than I ever have been.

Nonetheless, I’m writing this to rally the troops. When I was 19, an older co-worker warned me: “Wait till you turn 25 and all your peers will start getting married and having children.” I met that statement with a skeptical shrug and proclaimed “NOT I!!!”

Not I

Fast-forward a few years, and here I am about to turn 25, and a great deal of my friends are embracing married life and parenthood. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely admire them. At some point having lived on my own for so long inflated my sense of maturity. I thought I was all the adult I could ever be. I mean how often does a 21 year old have to choose between buying another drink and buying toilet paper?

Marriage and children though… I’m still too selfish. I can love with every fiber of my being but my mind is still set on experiencing the world not as a tourist but as a conqueror. I can’t do that and be the parent and wife I’d want to be.

And like 9 months of carrying a little human inside you… I don’t care what anyone says, that is the scariest shit a person can ever endure. I can’t even go a day without tripping over my own feet. What if while pooping I push too hard and induce a miscarriage?

So…..Sorry mom, I know you’ve sent death threats to every gynecologist in Florida to prevent them from giving me birth control but 25 doesn’t mean I’m any closer to marriage or kids. What it does mean is that I still have the energy of an 18 year old but now have the wisdom to invest it in more worthy endeavors.

Cheers to still looking too young to drink!


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